dicksonNJS

The Two Precious

2011-03-06T23:59:00.022+08:00

There are two ladies in my life that I could not leave without; they are not my parents nor my girlfriend, but my life – Hoiyan and Meilinda.

Hoiyan

Meilinda

I have the honour getting to know them in my secondary school, Bartley. When I was younger, I never thought of having 2 girls as my best friend because everyone knows me as someone who would go around breaking girls’ heart or vice versa. To me, it’s incredibly amazing that these two accepted me for who I am even though I was notorious back then with records of fighting, defiant and a lousy student.

The Class!

I got to know Hoiyan when we were in Sec 1. She was my Mandarin class classmate. She was very quiet back then, very serious in her work and always score in her subject. We never exchange conversation and when I open my mouth to speak to her, it would most probably be a request on asking if I could copy her work because my Mandarin back then was atrocious.

Fast forward to Secondary 3, she became my classmate (3N1). Still, I do not dare to approach her because I know good students like her would not want to hang out with bad students like me. I do not know what happen but things got better after some time. One of the reasons would be that she is seated behind me during Chinese lesson and I remembered vividly that I use to disturb this girl, Si Xuan. Because of that, I kept got scolded by buddy. However we communicated and laughed, deep down in my heart, I still am feeling inferior when it comes to being her friend.

Sec 4 came and we were in the same class again, this time round, she is seated beside me. Because of that, I would always tease her because I love teasing people, especially those who do not retaliate. She was very much open up and becomes very cheerful. And that was when we started talking more often and we would always take the same bus home together. Not only that, she became my ‘secretary’ filing my worksheets and notes because I am someone lazy, but at the same time, love being neat. Contradicting huh? She would always help me take down notes and do ‘correction’ for me because I will always be seen sleeping in class.

Our friendship blossom and we often go out together as a group even until now. The common area that we shared in my opinion would be that we are always the ONLY two Singaporeans present in the big group of Indonesia, Thailand and Nepal clique.

The Clique!

I felt that buddy is someone who is very weak, maybe because of her petite size. I always have the urge to want to protect her and frankly speaking, I dote on her a lot. Though she would always entertain me by laughing at my jokes which are often not funny, I appreciate it a lot. I know school is tiring, yet she needs to endure my nonsense all the way from Woodlands to Hougang but would still call me and ask if I want to go home with her together. Because of these calls and occasional texts I got from her, I felt loved by her and thank god to have her in my life.

As for Meilinda, I remember very clearly that I know her since the last day of my Sec 2 in the school canteen. Just as what I am like, I randomly teased her by asking if she have been hanging out with this guy named Derek.

Coincidentally, she became my Sec 3 classmate and a very hardworking girl like buddy, but results were just average. She was more outspoken with lots of friends that always surround her like Jamlin, Ericsson and Wei Hao. Though she is more outspoken than buddy, it was only until Sec 4 that I grew closer to her. I guess it’s because of her wanting to set up surprises for one of my classmates and we have to fork out money that I started interacting with her. She was/is always the one coming up with surprises and I reckon why a lot of people actually liked her. She is selfless and always thinks about others more than herself.

The Surprises!

I still remember during the N level period in Sec 4, I was very nervous about Principles of Accounts (POA) because I almost slept through my Sec 3 and Sec 4 POA lesson. I called Meilinda and ask if she could teach me because she was very good in her POA back then. Even until now, whenever I needed help, she is always the first person that comes to my mind. Because of her never-give-up attitude towards teaching me the subject, I manage to get a Band 2 in my POA N level and shock my POA teacher, Mrs Yeo. From then on, I started having interest in Accounts and even took it during my ITE days.

The Study Group!

Meilinda always give me the impression of being very strong and very responsible. She always wants her friends to be really happy around her but deep down, she is very weak and needs a lot of love and attention from the people she adore. Though I am always seen bickering and hitting her when we were out together, she is still very much loved by me. If only she is not someone whom I know very well, I would consider giving it a try into pulling her into a relationship! She is a super ideal girlfriend, and until now, I still could not figure out why people in his right mind would want to break her heart so much, sometimes I just felt that every tears that she shed have got something to do with me and I am always feeling very guilty.

These amazing ladies actually did lots of things with me like surprising me during my birthday; shopping and hunting of food; chalet; gossiping about others; sharing of problems; Karaoke sessions; and the most recent one, TRAVELLING!

Before this trip to Genting, I actually did a survey on asking a group of girls if they would mind spending a few nights with a male friends overseas in the same hotel room and most of them actually gave ‘no’ as the answer. That is why I am greatly touched by their gesture of asking me to the trip and even allowing me into the same room as them. Due to the fact that they know me more than I know myself, they should know what kind of guy I am and still trusted me which I felt very touched and loved because they see me as their very good and close friend thus do not mind.

After the trip, our bond got stronger and that these words that I’ve just written do not do justice on how important they are to me in my life, but deep down inside, I love them more than life.

I love you Meilinda and Buddy! Always!

One Last Message for my darlings:

I only carry bags for you girls

I love you girls more than life.

2010-02-27T01:34:00.008+08:00

A People Place

If this is not a place where tears are understood,
Where do I go to cry?

If this is not a place where my spirits can take wing,
Where do I go to fly?

If this is not a place where my questions can be asked,
Where do I go to seek?

If this is not a place where my feelings can be heard,
Where do I go to speak?

If this is not a place where you’ll accept me as I am,
Where can I go to be?

If this is not a place where I can try to learn and grow,
Where can I be just me?

-William J Crockett-

I am filled with anger, sadness and disappointment. Above are the poem that could actually express the situation, feelings and questions I have now.

Do not wish to type more. Hope to blog again real soon.

New Environment

2009-09-30T14:57:00.013+08:00

A blink of an eye, my first semester in Republic Polytechnic has passed. This school definitely let me see myself alot more clearly. During this first semester, lots of things happened. From me having lots of friends surrounding me to being an outcast. Joined Dragon boat as my Interest Group and being an outcast too, I guess. Am really sad for being an outcast because all the while in my years of education, I was always the centre of attention. Everyone will notice me, although in a bad way, I still have a bunch of good friends surrounding me and going out with me. However, in this Polytechnic, everything went vice versa.

In this tiny classroom of not more than 30 students, we are expected to work in groups of 4-5 in order to produce a quality powerpoint presentation to the problem given during the first meeting. I always act as a leader during group work in the past, hence when someone were to take this leadership role during this group discussion in Republic Polytechnic, I feel unease. I did not know how to follow people's instruction. I love doing it my own way. But in this school, I have to comprimise and everyone has a chance, hence I learn to work as a group, being a follower. I remembered going out of control and becoming back to my usual self after one week of school, I bash up a kid 2 years my junior. He was my classmate. My temper got arouse after he made negative multiple comments about my presentation and the overall presentation. This was when everything starts to change. From the usual group eating together at the food court, I was caught packeting my lunch and going back to the errie classroom eating alone. From the usual fun I had with the classmates, I was caught playing games in the internet. However, I still stay competitive by giving my best during class and group discussion because I was hungry for a daily grade of at least a 'B'. It was only during the final days - close to end of first semester that I apologize to those I had hurt, mentally. I got to realise that I always speak bluntly, without thinking. When the things I said was meant for a joke, others may think otherwise. It was also then I realise that I am not a good leader for the groups I lead, because I am more autocractic than democratic. I need people to listen to me, I need people to follow what I do so that I could secure a good grade, and neglected the whole team performances. I regretted acting in such childish-ly manner when most of my classmates could act maturely even though they are younger than me. I regretted. Just a few days ago, I got back a very disappointing result of GPA 3.2 that I finally woke up from all these nonsense and hope to start anew in my second and subsequent semester in Republic Polytechnic. I hope for the best, not just to me but everyone else.

W45F'09

I never consider myself as a sporty person, but I joined Dragon Boat. This thought of joining never cross my mind but I joined nevertheless because my secondary school friend encourage. I am still in the team, but likewise in the classroom, I am not happy. Perhaps is the way I act that makes people not wanting to come near or even speak to me. Being in this team actually makes me feel really inferior. Everyone is so physically fit. Those who are not had gave up and leave the team, and I am still the only one left in this team who are the odd one out. I do not have great paddling skills nor do I have toned muscles. When they are loud, I became soft, when they are louder and even more confident, I became softer and felt more inferior. Because of this infeiority that I started using what I do most, talk, to hurt their feelings. Actually the more I hurt them with my words, the more my weaknesses are potrayed out. I never felt that I am needed in the team. Perhaps because of the consistency of my attendence is not there. When there are choices to be made prior to Dragon Boat, I neglect Dragon Boat. I never prioritise it and this makes me think if I have make the wrong decision. I have a burning passion for this sports and I hope that I could excel in it. But there are no team bonding between myself and the team. There are only a few friends that are constantly talking to me and the secondary school friend of mine is excluded. I thought I might have a chance to blend in together with them since I have a friend inside, but I was wrong. I never felt so inferior, I never felt so left out and I never felt so lousy before. However, I will not give up and will continue to stay and fight on, hopefully one day I could blend in well with them and actually call them 'us'.

During this semester holiday, the above problems actually became clearer, to the point that I would question myself if I have any friends. I have no one calling me out, I have no one helping me to celebrate my birthday like before and I have no one being there for me when I need them most. At this point of time, I have no friends at all. However, just when I was about to break down feeling even more inferior and outcasted, my ITE friends called for me to join them for a gathering at Sentosa. Frankly speaking, I thought I was dreaming because I never expected them to remember me. I was elated. When I meet up with them to go Sentosa together, I felt like I am one of them. They did not give me the feeling of being outcasted neither do they give me the feeling of being unloved. They chatted with me asking me about my life in Republic Polytechnic, they make fun of me like they use to when we are in ITE, they are the bunch whom I could consider friends. They still call me 'Ah Dick', nothing changes. Their gesture and the fun we had together really makes me want to forget everything and spend quality time with them. Actually, it really gives me this feeling of regret, regret for coming to Polytechnic and not stay there and study with them. They are indeed my friends, I love them.

Friends Forever

After all these that I had wrote, the negative side of me. I gotta say goodbye to my negative side and be positive like what I am before. I would never break down and will definitely watch what I say, And hopefully one day, I could really come to this blog again to pen down how much I love about Republic Polytechnic.

Reminising the Past...

2009-07-12T00:45:00.013+08:00

As I was reminiscing about the past, primary school days especially. I felt that I have had transform a lot in a person. The characteristics of me changed to a better one. Drastically is the word use to describe the change in me. Out of the blue, I thought of the upcoming National Day.

Singapore is going to be 44 years of age. The always changing nation I would describe it as. From a fishing village, to a successful trading port back in the olden days. Gone through Japanese Occupation and racial riots. Been through merging and separation. Changes the name twice(Temasek and Syonan-to) I supposed before naming it 'Singapura'. Creation of the High Rise Buildings for citizens to stay while clearing all the slums. Been attracting Multi-National Companies (MNCs) to invest in Singapore and rebate their taxes. Organising campaigns to shape Singaporeans into responsible citizens. Until now, attracting foreign talents to settle down in Singapore and start a family to contribute to Singapore's population as it is dropping.

In my opinion, I really felt that given just 44 years(even younger than my parents), Singapore had transform into a country which is recognised worldwide. Talk about 'clean and green' and a Brazilian babe will spout out 'SINGAPORE' naturally. Talk about world class airport and any Tom, Dick and Harry would agree Singapore owns it. Singapore is not a country anymore, its more than that, its a brand. It is a world class branded which could win any branded (LV, Gucci, Hermes and etc) single handedly. Another example on why Singapore is more than a country. Take Michael P. Fay for example. He was an American fellow who came to Singapore and steals and even scratches any car he sighted on the street or in the car park got caned four strokes even after the appeal of a powerful country, USA. Singapore is also a country without the fear of seeing riots or protests on the streets. Anyone who wants to protest should send in their application and go indoor. International Monetary Fund (IMF) held in Singapore laugh at us but we are firm with our rules and regulations. It is because of all these that Singapore is ranked the top 10 worldwide for its security. I am truly amazed how such small island could make such huge impact to the world.

Back to the subject, I reminisced about the past. I remembered very clearly that when I was in Primary 5, I was taken to the National Day Parade(NDP), it was 2001 then. I still remember how awesome the feeling was holding my Primary School flag and leading other school mates into the stadium to watch the NDP. When the ceremony starts, it was and always is the uniform group marching in the stadium. Although many may think that the marching and all was boring, I am truly drawn to what is sighted before me then. The different platoons marching to the command given in Malay. They were all so organised together. Their faces were all the same, seriousness is the word. The parade commander was so impressive that I instantly felt in love with him even though he is a guy. The command he gave to the different platoons gave me a trigger down my spine. Everyone who was wearing the uniform followed his command without any error. He is the leader, he is the man. Because of that, I aspire to be like him. I hope that one day, I could stand in the National stadium and command the different platoons. Because of this dream, I went to join NPCC in Secondary school. The NDP'01 is the only parade I watch it live, but I was hooked ever since. Every year, August 9, I would not go anywhere but to watch the NDP live on television. Not only that, I would be at home marching to the command given by the parade commander. Some of you may think that I am mad, but this is how I show my love to Singapore during this day. By marching and saluting. Even go to the extent to singing 'Majulah Singapura' together with the live audiences and president. I always felt the atmosphere when I am doing this, I could feel that I am watching the parade live at the stadium. Because of that, every August 9 is the day of joy. Although there are performances and songs sung by the choir of various school, I would still not get sick of the formal parade. Because this is the part where Singapore could show the world how disciplined our people are, how united and ready to fight for Singapore we can be and how multi-racialism is possible within the uniform groups and citizens. We are the pride of Singapore and because of all these factors, I never miss any National Day Parade live on television after NDP'01.

As Singapore is embarking towards being a 44 years young nation, I would like to see that Singapore is still a strictest and fine-ner yet at the same time; racial harmonious, safe environment and definitely a place with lots of fun and excitement country.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY in ADVANCE SINGAPORE !

Below are a video summarising Singapore's past and present into a song.

ENJOY!!!

Ai Ru Chao Shui

2009-03-12T19:21:00.003+08:00

Let my wonderful voice accompany you through lonely days. HAHA!

CAUTION: Background conversation are said to be a curse, if you listen to it, you will be curse to have a very bad sore throat hence make you sing awfully.

A whole new Chapter in Life.

2009-03-12T17:59:00.010+08:00

10th March 2009 marks the end of me label-ed as an ITE student. For those who does not know, its because I got admitted to Republic Poly using a combined result in O level that I retook a few months back. My dad was relief I could go to poly, my mother are proud of me and so does the family. A few months back when I was still in ITE, dad do not even dare to take the same lift as me when I was wearing the polo tee. Well, I was also skeptical back then about being an ITE student.

Being in ITE lets me learn a lot of things. The education thought me how to be competitive among our classmates, as well as the course mates. The friends in there thought me how to care for one another by teaching the weaker ones in their work despite the tough competition. The lecturers thought us how to be responsible for ourselves and to love ourselves and others selflessly. Also, the whole ITE system thought me how to be confident and proud of ourselves under the constant mocking and prejudices from the eye of the skeptical public.

I've made many friends in this school. They are really true to me especially Weetiong. He will always text me which classroom should I be going whenever I came to school. He would also collect worksheets and mark the attendance for me when I was away from school. He is a very hardworking boy. Always sets a high target for himself and get paranoid very easily. He's the target of classmates in UQ0804D. The apple in the bullies eye and also, the lecturers' pet hence would always get to do extra work compared to us. His character inspired me to study hard and be like him, but also teaches me to be flexible in life. He is definitely someone whom we can learn a lot from. Well, there's also other classmates which thought me a thing or two in life. But if I were to mention all of them, it could really be a very long post.

Like I mentioned above, lecturers thought us lots of things too. Not only in academic wise, but also in life. Miss Annie Koh for especially, thought us how to love our parents. Her stories would be a release of stress from her dry teaching in Business Fundamental and Business Communication. She always have all sorts of stories to tell us, inspire us and to learn from. She is always very true towards each and everyone in the class. Very straight forward that sometimes I tend to hate her. However, looking back, if she's not that true to us, I wouldn't have improve in my character wise and also, the attitude in study. Another lecturer whom inspires me a lot is Mr Jerome Goh. A very successful entrepreneur in his early age, retired before he's 40 years of age and came because he is passionate about teaching thus being a dedicated teacher who is strict when it comes to rules and regulations. I don't deny that majority of my classmates hated him because he always lock us out of the classroom after being late for 15minutes of his lesson. Especially when his lesson always starts at 8 in the morning. For a heavy sleeper like me, I'm always a 'visitor' who are locked outside the classroom and misses most of my 8am lesson. However, it was his firm principle of believing in punctuality that makes me grow as a person. As I said earlier on, I'm a heavy sleeper who tend to be late in meetings. It was him who makes me know the importance of being punctual for any meetings. Punctuality is the first impression in your character that you deliver to people. Hence I'm learning to be punctual at all time despite if its a casual or a serious meeting.

I've benefited a lot in the whole ITE system and am proud that I came to ITE. Mr Jerome Goh has so much faith in me that he chose me as one of the partner for a recycling business together with the elites in my class, Wei Jie and Eugene. When I first heard from Wei Jie that I got selected, joy filled in me and I'm speechless. However, when it comes to business, I learn that we must be patient and cannot rush things or it would backfired. Everything must be well planned and go in a systematic order so that it would be of a smooth flow. This amazing lecturer thought us how we should not go around boasting and telling others about how much we have contributed but to do everything with a silent confidence within us. Like a servant leader which I learnt in Blaze Camp. We will have to serve without complaining and wait for the trees to bear fruits so that we could benefit from it. His way of presenting himself awe me and I'm so inspired that I wish I could be like him in the near future. He is my role model, a mentor that never complains and treat everything with a smile which would never fade.

Having to said all these, I urge those who did not do well for their N or O levels not to be depress as ITE has a really wonderful way in transforming student into a person who are capable of doing anything and who believes in everything is possible with the high level of confidence within. To sum up everything I've learnt in ITE, its 'If you're willing to give it a shot to things that you wanted, you'll definitely succeed in times to come.'

Goodbye UQ0804D

Our fun at home!

2008-12-19T20:40:00.004+08:00

Having siblings is always good because you never get bored doing things stupid and laugh like mad together.

My sister found a cool website, so that we could sing in the mic on her laptop together.

I'll let my beautiful voice entertain you in the blog.....

If you want to sing too, go to -> http://www.karaokeparty.com/en/

Have FUN!

Y-Camp Challenge 2008

2008-12-15T04:55:00.005+08:00

I've lost touch to this blog for a really long time. Have lots of activities going on in school and outside of school. Just came back from a camp which was supposedly 4D3N, but due to some reasons, it has been cut short. Nevertheless, its a meaningful camp I ever been to, I swear I'm gonna go for the camp again next year!

Thanks to Weetiong for pulling me to join this camp. Frankly speaking, I wasn't very keen to such camp due to the fact that I'm lazy and its holiday. First day of the camp was not really a good experience and I totally show no interest in that camp when we arrived. I'm not as participative as I used to be and whenever there are chance to grab a rest, you would see me. Even if its on the floor. I hide when volunteers told me to help out and when playing games, I'm also the one showing the 'I don't give a damn' look. Probably its because I'm from ITE and everyone in my group were either from good JCs like RJ and CJ. If not, they are from NUS or SMU. Really felt inferior while being with them. Never had I have this feeling before. Their schools really make me feel stupid about myself. However, they seemed to be friendly and approachable. They've been to many camps before and many are camp instructors because they have different camp T-shirts. I was called out by the leaders asking for reasons about the way I acted, but I just shake them off as if nothing happens. The first day was tiring, but there's more to come because beneficiaries would be in this camp the next day.

The second day starts off with bunk mates asking me about why do I set my alarm so early in the morning and disturb them. I was label-ed the Ah Lian Ring tone Boy for that reason throughout the camp. My beneficiaries did not come to the camp because he was sick. So I was beneficiary-less throughout the camp. I was so happy at first because I've no one to take care of which was good. However, I felt sad because that's what the camp is all about. It's about the beneficiaries and not me. However, I treated the other beneficiaries with due respect and really took care of them thoroughly. Although they are very difficult to take care of because of communication barrier, I did not give up and give my best out. Seeing smiles coming from their face really gave me the sense of satisfaction and that also motivates me to want to really take great care of them. I looked after them when they wants to go toilet and also when they are eating. I make fun of myself just to see the smiles and laughter coming from them which was worthy.

The third day was sad because we were told that we are going home due to some reasons. Many beneficiaries were sad because they did not get to experience the high element. One of them didn't want to go home and change to track pants telling us to bring him to the high element. Hearing from a beneficiary saying this really aches my heart because this shows how much he anticipated for this Bi-Annual camp. Many of us just coax him and divert his attention to other stuffs like Milo which was his favourite. Although its just one day getting along together, I still feel like crying when they were on the bus going back. One of the beneficiaries cried and throw tantrums because he wanted to stay in the camp. He even turned violent and pushed me.

Being with these beneficiaries really make me felt that my life is perfect compared to them. Although I may have setbacks, but it was nothing compared to theirs. It makes me also want to appreciate my life even more and wants to serve for them as a volunteer. This Y-Camp Challenge really makes me mature and see the different sides of life. Although they are disabled, doesn't mean they are unable. Many of them could really take care of themselves and be independent. They are able to communicate with their buddy and ask for what they want which I thought was impressive. We were expecting the worse when we met them, but they prove to us what they could do and could even do better than us which I felt lousy myself. However, I would like to stay active and be a volunteer so as to learn more and see more.

NOTICE.

2008-08-10T04:21:00.003+08:00

WILL NOT BE BLOGGING ANYMORE...

However, this blog will still exsits if I change my mind in the near future.

Blaze Camp.

2008-07-12T22:55:00.005+08:00

It has been a long time since I've blogged. Was just plain lazy but couldn't bear to close down my blog. Therefore, I'm here to blog again. This time is about my 3days 2nights in the Blaze/NACLI Camp. Its a camp set up to nurture young leaders and I am one of the few who got selected.

Before going to the camp, I have already had a rough idea on what the camp was going to be like. I was dissuaded by many friends to joining them in other activities and abandoned the camp. They gave me all sorts of reason like it was a classroom based camp and you would have to attend lectures which would bore you. And since its the school vacation, why not join them to have fun instead of attending such boring camp? At first, I was eager to be with friends and forget about the camp. However, I deter and stop thinking of what my friends have said.

I assembled early in school because I chose to take the bus provided by the school to go to the camp site which is located at Buona Vista South. We boarded the bus at 10am and reached our destination 1 hour later. I've got a few friends who joined the camp too, but we were all split into different groups. Given my outgoing personality, I got no problems making new friends.

Yes, indeed the camp has lecture. But the lectures were fun and filled with laughter with almost everyone so readily to speak up. I self-introduced myself as a 'shy boy' just to add on with more laughter in the class. And throughout the 3days or even till now, my nickname as a shy boy still sticks with me. However, its not because I'm shy.

First day in Blaze Camp.

We had to decorate our own lanyard to label ourselves and since I'm called as 'Ah dick' by most of my mates in school, I wrote that. That lanyard thingy brought lots of laughter to camp mates from all the different groups. The first lesson taught to us was being a 'servant leader'. The lecturers showed us a movie of two particular African tribal group that were at war and that no international allies help except for one person who is a hotel manager. After watching the movie, we were given 15minutes to plan for a skid so that we could act out in front of the class. Our skid theme is 'Empathy and Acceptance'. Being such a drama queen, I gave lots of ideas to my group members on what they must do and how am I going to react. But however, we still stick to me being a shy boy without and friends in our skid. Although it may sound boring to some people, but the classes conducted are really fun. After that, the facilitator showed us to our room and we were all surprised. Four people in each room and there is a bathroom, heater, hair dryer, wardrobe, balcony and even air-conditional. Its more like a holiday than a camp to me. After lunch, we were called into the learning lounge a.k.a hall to play our games. I was the star player for my team in dodge ball, was in the ninth heaven when my facilitator mentioned that to me. After the games, we had our dinner and off we go for the amazing race. My team came up to be the first to complete the race and that was really great satisfaction for me and my team. Everyone in the team got to be a leader at least once to plan and strategise about the places we are going and the how the games are suppose to be play. It was a long night for me but a wonderful one. I went to have my sleep with a smile across my face knowing that we are the champion.

The bed I slept on from 02/07 - 04/07

Second day in Blaze Camp.

We got up as early as 8am to go for our morning exercises before proceeding to our breakfast. It was a long day and an enjoyable one for us. By now, I got my own clique and we stick closely to each other and tell jokes. I remember making the girls laugh till one got choke and the other cried and beg me to stop my jokes. I never knew I could be so humorous. We proceeded back to classes to learn about different types of leaders. This time, we have to draw without using any words about what a leader should be like. Those selected drawings must explain to the whole class what does his/her drawing stands for. Also, we were scattered to other groups to solve a problem together. We also get to discuss which leaders really impacted our life the most and we were the only group to state that its our parents. After what we've done, we were told that each team must come out with a name, cheer and performance. And every individual must give a speech on this year's theme - My hero, My leader. This time round, Nana was the leader trying to think of what we are suppose to perform. The boys who are supposedly rehearsing for the stomps are playing basketball sweating like pigs. But we still did pretty well and did not screwed up while performing. Our team was also awarded for the champion in game and I am so proud of it. The night did not just end here. We (The clique) sneaked out of the room to play soccer in the basketball court when the facilitator said lights off. When we saw the facilitators patrolling, we ran and hide from their sight. However, we still get caught as we knocked the room of the facilitators thinking that its our friends. We got lectured by the facilitators and off I went to have a wonderful sleep.

My Cliques!

Nurturing leader in progress!

Ready to PERFORM!

Last day in Blaze Camp.

We assembled early and there were no morning exercises as we need to check out of our room earlier than the given time slot. We went for team building and we need to play games that involved a lot on teamwork. We set the highest record for the Moonball activity. Our team got further split into two groups for other games and activities but we were still helping one another knowing that we are a team. Although there was one particular game called the Trolley that makes everyone quarrel and hurl vulgarities at one another, but after the game, we still are one. That what makes a team right? Everyone changed to the Camp polo tee upon getting ready to go home. Everyone received a certificate upon completing the Blaze Camp and I reckoned that everyone went home with a happy memories that we wouldn't want to forget for the rest of our life, right?

Trolleys!

Reflections.

This camp certainly makes me a stronger person with a stronger mindset. What mattered to me most now is not about winning, but the process we went through with the sweat that we shed. I also learned that failures and successes are just differentiate between a thin line. Life is tough, we cannot have everything that we want but that doesn't mean we couldn't achieve it. This Camp experience certainly makes me a much more responsible person in life and also a confident leader and a team player whom everyone would want to respect and adored.

Lessons learnt being a dealer.

2008-06-20T02:46:00.006+08:00

I always thought being a dealer in a casino is easy as ABC. I always have this mindset that those who are spending their money signing up for courses tailored to casino dealers are stupid. And I always believe that everyone who is intelligent enough could be a dealer.

I was totally wrong with the mindset I've mentioned above. Being a dealer is no easy task, especially when you have to put on a professional image in front of the people who are playing. These people are not just here to win, but to pressurize the dealer till he go haywire and breakdown. These people would keep rushing you and making sure you are breaking in cold sweat. These people are what we call, gambler.

Today's event is all about what I just typed. My friends and I went to Marina South Pier to meet up with the Event Coordinator. He is a friendly chap. We discussed on who gets to do what before we board the ship. Everything was going perfectly well. I got the game, Black Jack. I know all the rules and regulations and am ready to give my best shot. We boarded the ship and set up our gambling stalls. These stalls that I'm talking about is perfectly legal because there was no involvement in monetary terms. These games are just for people who play purely for leisure. They need 'chips' to play the game.

Upon arrival at Marina South Pier.

Us with the friendly Event Coordinator.

It was a three stories high cruise. - The first level is for the people to have buffet. The second level is for the people to gamble and chit-chat. The third level is for the VIP to gamble and chit-chat. I was the first dealer to be bankrupt due to the high level of pressuring by the VIP and also, the noise level. I remembered running to the second level desperately to find 'chips' to save my Black Jack stall, but to no avail because every dealers were at the losing hand. I am so embarrassed when I ask the Event Coordinator to write me two IOU containing $14,000 and $20,000 chips respectively. My stall was the first one to wind up and thus, helping my partner in the 'Big Small' stall.

The bow ties are on.

Through this event, I learnt that Singaporeans are all risk takers. They would kill the banker with one 'showhand'. I also learnt that educational level has nothing to do with your behavior in public. They are all equipped with at least a degree but they speak in such uncivilized manner. However, there are some who would speak up for you if they are too much.

Having learn so many things in just 7hours of event really makes me a better person. At least I would not talk in an uncivilized manner and always treat everyone equally regardless of their qualifications. Last but not least, I would like to end this post with a quote from my Secondary School English Teacher.

"We must always aim as high as the sky, for as we fall, we would land on the clouds."

Farewell Panda!

2008-06-17T00:51:00.007+08:00

Whenever I'm at Changi Airport, thoughts of those friends whom I see off came flowing through my head. It was always a sad event. Today was no different, Panda(Rabindra) was leaving for Australia, Melbourne to further his studies.

Panda!!

He was always a great student in class and a great friend outside. He likes to laugh a lot and that is why everyone was so comfortable having him around. His laughter never fails to warmth my heart. I still remember we had a 'heart to heart' talk during chalet'07. He told me lots of things. This really makes me touched as he treat me as a trusted friend. In my opinion, he's someone who hides his emotional feelings from others because he didn't like other people to worry about him. He always put himself in others' shoe so that he would not make anyone unhappy. I never seen him flare up at others before. He is a selfless boy who would do anything to make his friends' day a colourful one, I supposed. I never regret having him as a friend, I bet no one would ever regret.

The trusted friend!

There was the usual group sending him off in Terminal 3. We meet up together to give Panda a surprise as he do not know our plan yet. However when he saw us at the airport, he was not surprise. This is what I call real friend. Through so many years together as a group, he had understood us inside out, hence the normal look on his face. I could feel that he is sad and do not want to leave Singapore or us. We had our dinner together and it was a really fun one. There were little seats available, Emilia took the initiative to ask if she could bring some table over to our side so that we could sit together as a group. We chit-chatted a lot and kept asking when he would be back.

Last dinner with him.

Till Death do us apart.

Previously a very large group, now it has reduced its size to only a few people. Everyone is leaving Singapore for their home or future. Maybe one day, everyone would be back together and never leave each other. This group is just like a family to me and it saddened me to see so many of the members leaving. I strongly believe that distance would definitely make our friendship stronger and bonded together. Whatever it is, I know Panda would always remember this group of friends he once shared his joy and laughter with.

We will miss you!

Funs I had with ITE mates.

2008-06-02T02:32:00.021+08:00

I'm getting more and more involved in my school lives. I adored my classmates and found them really fun to be with and that we unite as a class. Fun after fun, and I know there would be more to come.

Celebrated Rebecca's birthday in school, reckoned that she was touched by what we've planned. Whole class chipped in a dollar for the cab fare and the birthday cake. Few of our classmates then rush down to some places to get the cake during break. Kinda reminds me of my secondary school days as Meilinda would be the one planning the surprises for the birthday girl/boy. When everything was okay, everyone was called to the third level and Rebecca came too. Whole class was there. We sung her a happy birthday song. So enjoyable and fun. Our class recently found a common interest, which is to tease Wee Tiong, the shy boy of our class. Even our Class Advisor joined in the fun. The shy boy is afraid to talk to girls and he would shiver in fear if we push him towards the girls. Now because of him, our class is called as one.

The birthday girl, Rebecca.

Class photo with birthday girl.

Our class also joined the 'Nebo'08 Amazing Race.' Majority of my classmates were there when I turned up. I love the part where everyone looks at us when we cheered 'QD' before going our way. My group - Shawn, Eugene and Weijie came in earlier than the rest of the classmates. During the race, everyone kept telling me to endure and run. Due to the fact of being stubborn, we did not get any prize. It was my fault, I apologize for the lack of determination. I would definitely try harder next time. The race also let me realised that my classmates are very supportive and fun-loving. Like what I mentioned earlier on, they really unite as one.

Before the race started.

After the 'QD Cheer.'

I felt that I'm really lucky to be in this class. I hope that our friendship would keep blossoming and that we would always be a pillar to one another. Last but not least, I love QD.

ITE Lifes..

2008-05-23T12:39:00.002+08:00

It has been a month since I started my life as an ITE student. Classmates are friendly in general. However, I still could not believe the fact that I'm an ITE student. But I'll have to face the reality.

Being in a class filled with fun and laughter is really enjoyable, especially during Business Fundamental lesson which is usually dry and boring. Being a POA student gives me an advantage of knowing it first hand. Teaching those who are weaker really gave me the sense of achievement and I'm proud of it!

There are many times when I'm very full of myself which I hated it most. I do not know why I acted in this manner, but it comes naturally. I knew that being such a proud person would cause many troubles and many of your friends would start drifting away from you. And so, I've been trying really hard to tone myself down. I also need to be more hardworking instead of staying in school for pool session till late evening.

Lecturers are very concern about us and always help us should we encounter any difficulties. But locking us outside the class when we are late is unforgivable. No choice but to live with it. I got to stop disturbing girls in my class too, I found the girls very understanding as they did not tell me off yet, but I'll still try my best not to disturb them during lesson. I apologise to those I've irritated and thank you for being so friendly with me all the time!

Recently, I've been spending time shedding those fats off as my friends kept laughing at me. I'm a very self-conscious boy for your information and I take comments from friends very seriously. Well, I'm determined to slim down and hopefully I could succeed. Besides that, sorry for the lack of updates. This blog is not dead yet, I'm just busy with my own stuffs recently. I'll try my best to update! Please give me some time people. Alright?

The class which filled with fun and laughter with Miss Belinda Ng.

Graduation Video.

2008-05-03T01:51:00.005+08:00

Bartley 5N1'07 batch.

Together We Can Achieve.

The Pines Gathering.

2008-04-23T00:55:00.005+08:00

Met up at 'The Pines' for Emilia's early birthday celebration. Was accompanied by Gabriel and Hoiyan. Eye of envy listening to Gabriel's poly lives. Seeing them comparing the orange Ez-Link card really made me regret not studying hard enough in Secondary school.

Arrived late upon our destination due to the fun we had in bus, thus missed the stop. The group was waiting for us to sign the big birthday card. Saw a couple of friends, went to said hello. Feelings wasn't the same as before. Maybe its because we are of different educational standered. However, became relaxed as they did not treat me any differently. When they are exchanging their poly stories, I felt outcasted. Went up to them and told them how jealous I am, seeing them in polytechnic. They consoled me and told me its alright. Encourage me to study hard and I would be of the same track as them soon. Words from them really made the tears form in my eyes. I want to be like them, enjoying the same school lives. But I can't.

We took lots of pictures together as a form of memories. Hopefully these memories would not fade off in me or anyone of them as time passes. They are once my motivator, my pillar of strength and my shoulders. They are all bright students whom could make it big in future. What am I to them? An entertainer who brings them joy? Or am I really one of them? I don't know, but for what I knew, they are once important people in my life. I would remember this till the very last breath.

Although we did not keep very much in contact with. But I know when I'm in times of crisis, these 'pillars' would still stand by me and give me the emotional support I need like before, to pull me through. I believe in them, because that's what friends are for. Right?

Tribute to : Meilinda, Hoiyan, Weihao, Ericsson, Rabindra, Gabriel, Chorheng, Jianyu, Jamlin, Milan, Darwin and Emilia.

Caution : Not to Sleep in MRT.

2008-04-19T05:17:00.006+08:00

I would do crazy stuffs that would make people mad once in a blue moon. I was on my way home with Xinsheng in the MRT, and I had these thoughts of disturbing this boy who is sleeping soundly in the train.

Lets welcome Sleeping beauty in the MRT!

After I did this, I get more n more excited and wanting to take more pictures with him. I seldom do crazy stuffs. I consider this crazy because I always have 'no balls' to do such things as I do not want to get into trouble. On the other hand, Xinsheng felt very bad, but compiles to it. Poor Xinsheng had to endure the stares given by the passenger in the MRT.

Imitating his sleeping.

I reckoned he knew that he had been made fun of, but he's unsure about it. Because he would get up once in a while to take a look at the surrounding. After Xinsheng 10 counting, he would doze off and his head would drop down and sleep again. Guessed life in the working industry ain't easy huh?

You! Yes you! Can't you see I'm making fun of you!?

Thanks to the accomplice, Xinsheng for making our 16minutes journey a wonderful one. Not forgetting to thank the boy whom I made fun of.

Thank you Sleep Beauty

PS : This is just a joke, sorry if I've offended anyone of you out there. I know it's childish to do this, but it's a form of entertainment for me. I sincerely apologised to the boy I've make fun of.

1st day of ITE.

2008-04-14T23:10:00.006+08:00

Okay, first day of school, not really what I expected. I expected to see lots of 'Ah Bengs' in my class, expected to hear vulgarities being shouted across the auditorium, expected to see many with skinny jeans and slippers and expected many in my class to be rowdy. But, no. They were bunch of quiet people, sitting quietly on the seats while listening to every words the speaker said as though they are in a church enlightening by the pastor.

When we proceeded to playing game, my classmates were shy and so, the game was not well played. However, being the odd one who is friendly, outgoing and with an elephant thick skin, I start the ball rolling by making fun of the 'Bridge Leader' - doing some stupid faces which irritated some of my classmates I reckoned. After that, game went on smoothly and lots of laughter could be heard in this class of mine. Everyone knows my name and therefore, sabotaging me and making those beside me suffer the consequences. Well, too bad, I lost in the last round and had to do a forfeit which is to spell my name, Dickson with my bottom. I accepted the forfeit and proceeded to doing something which I couldn't believe I was doing. Imagine doing something so stupid in front of a 42strangers whom you met for just a few hours. The feeling was horrible. After that 'performance', my face went cherry red.

Did I mention about being recognized by one of my primary four classmate? The feeling was so great. She asked if I am Dickson. With a puzzled look, I ask who is she. She told me she is the one whom always got bullied by me in Primary school. I was so glad that she still remembers me and treated me as her friend. There is a girl, Suzy whom is very friendly too. I reckoned she will be a top student in my class. She is caring towards me, her friendly gesture warmth my heart and from that moment, I knew she would be a very good friend of mine. There are still more people I would like to share with you. But guessed I'll keep you in suspense and await for the upcoming post.

Being in ITE isn't a bad choice after all. Not all students are bad like we think they are. Singaporeans are just being stereotype. Hoping I will excel in ITE. I need to work hard, work hard and work hard. Hopefully, this two years will be a fruitful experience to me. *pondering*

The Truth.

2008-04-05T02:39:00.003+08:00

After my BFF, Xinsheng left for China on a vacation trip. I realised one thing. I do not have many friends. My sister told me that she reckoned he is my only friend. Because I only spent my time with him, goes out with him and enjoy with him. Not many friend calls me after he left except if they need any help from me. I began to understand what my mother's neighbour told me.

He told me God gave us ten fingers for a reason. The reason is that in life, you will only have ten friends or less. And if you have more than that, they ain't your friends, but someone who would take you for granted and used you. He owns a pub couple of years ago and travel to lots of countries. He is loaded and often treat his 'friends' to restaurants and KTV. When his friends are in need, he would fork out a lump sum of money to help them. He is a very generous and humble man. After his business went downhill, he became penniless and had to take over his mother's job in a neighbourhood selling clothes. There will be one or two friends coming by and talk to him occasionally, and they are always the same people. So, he told me not to put in too much trust in what do we term as 'friends'.

I have no friends. After all those party-ings with my secondary school mates and gatherings. I found out that we ain't really close actually. I cleared my phone list upon graduating and so do they. When I text them, they would ask me who I was, and vice versa. I reckoned that we are all very fake towards one another. We would be smiling and chatting away happily but when we were alone, we would forget about everything. So overall, I only have Xinsheng as my friend and my real friend, I hoped.

So lastly, I would said that not everyone are true towards you and also, the other way round. Do not trust someone so easily because there would be consequences. When there is someone out there who is true towards you as a friend, grab hold of that someone and who knows he/she would be your 'lucky star' for the long run in Life.

Time to Wake Up.

2008-03-24T22:38:00.003+08:00

It's been a long time since I blogged. My life is the same everyday. Work, eat, sleep and all over again. Now that I had stopped working, I'm back to blogging. Today, I went back to my secondary school to receive my O level cert. When I walk towards the school gate, my heartbeat became faster and louder. I don't know why.

I went into the office to get my cert, while waiting, I saw Mr Chin. Immediately, my heart stopped. Felt very guilty because I flung my O level. He was right, I bound to be in ITE. He gave me a pat on the shoulder and told me that I've improved tremendously. Hearing him said that makes my tears formed in my eyes. I saw my favourite teacher, Mr Ng. He was someone who was very patient to me. Always advise me to find him if I need help and never failed to encourage me if I failed his subject. It's really hard seeing all these teachers who have once helped you and in return, you disappoint them. Thoughts started flowing through my mind and memories of being a student in Bartley secondary formed. I always thought too highly of myself that I do not allow any advice given to me and ignored helps from my peers and teachers.

After walking around the school, I suddenly woke up. If I would be a student in Bartley again, I would listen to the teachers' advices, hand in assignments on time and always do my best in every tests. It's really hard walking into your formal school if you have had failed in that school. I reckoned this is the biggest lesson I learnt in life and I will wake up from my dreams and do my best in everything which are important. I will be successful one day. I will make a name for myself one day. I will hold my head high up and tell people about my route to success one day. This day would come but only if I wake up now. It's time to wake up.

Aftermath..

2008-01-27T04:03:00.000+08:00

Lots of things happened these few weeks, good and bad. O level results out and my hopes crashed into pieces. I failed my English, Math and Science. No Poly wants me and I wasn't given any chance to appeal. I do not want to go to ITE, no choice but have to go. Privite diploma are not recognize in Singapore thus ITE is the only solution. A long way, hopefully a brighter future.

I always discriminate Bartley students back in Primary school, I would always tell myself that I rather die than to study in that school. Students in that school are naughty. However, when I got my posting school result, I got posted to Bartley Secondary which is out of my six choice. Studying in Bartley Secondary School isn't too bad after all, I got to know a lot of friends who care for me. Being a Normal Academic student, chances of me getting into ITE is high and I would always tell myself I hated ITE students and did not want to be in the institution. However, O level results are bad and I was forced into ITE. Many of my friends(Marwin, Alan, Gilbert, En Shan, Xin Sheng and etc) in ITE aren't that bad and I still love their companionship.

Despite getting such a lousy result for my O level, my parents still encourage me and let me know that I still have hope especially my father. He did not flare at me like what he did two years ago when my sister got her result. He consoled me and tell me to continue working hard. Mother gave me her fullest support even though I did not help out in her stall these few days due to my bad results. Many friends consoled me and stand by me. This is also the first time I cried while talking on the phone with my friend(Yue Mei), guessed she was shocked hearing my cry because I'm always a 'happy-go-lucky' person.

Maybe going to ITE can really build up my basic foundation and help me excel in Poly in the near future. I've reflected a lot and I do not despise ITE students anymore. I hope for a brighter future and keep learning while I'm still young!

Unfaithful.

2008-01-04T08:42:00.000+08:00

Countless relationship I've gone through, many girlfriends I've known and different types of girl I've saw, I still love her deeply. Knew her in the cyber world, woo-ed her in the net and asked her for a date. She was unconvinced about my love for her at first, because I'm two years younger than her. She does not believe I could handle a relationship well due to my lack of life experience. She treated me more like a younger brother than her boyfriend for some time. However, I've managed to convince and earn her trust. Soon, we were deeply in love.

She was the only girl that cares for my future. She threatened not to meet up with me if I did not study for exams. She gave me freedom and understood me when I was with my friends. She was the best girlfriend I've ever had. However, she is grounded by her mother. Her mother reads her messages in the phone, takes her wages she earned during attachment and gives her curfew.

I had conflict with her mother and even hurled vulgarities at her through the phone. Our relationship went downhill after that incident. She was monitored by her mother and was not allow to call or message me. We had to go into an underground relationship which was stressful and tiring for me. I would grabbed hold of any opportunity just to see her and send her home from work no matter how tired I am after school. She was my top priority.

She cheated on me and wanted to break up with me. She told me that due to our lack of meeting, her love for me faded off. She was with this boy who was her colleague. He sent her home from work and even went out together when I was busy mugging for my mid-year examinations. I was depressed but still told her that I do not mind. She came back and be my girlfriend once again.

Every night I would cry myself to sleep, thinking about them being together. There's no more trust in this relationship. However, I kept finding excuses to convince myself that I'm still very much in love with her. Suddenly, I woke up from everything, I message her and ask her for a break because I do not want my results to suffer. The reason for the break is lust, which was untrue. After that break up, I cried for months and after so many months, I'm still very much in love with her. I wouldn't go for her again, but once in awhile, I still think of her.

She is the girl that makes me understand what is love, she is the girl that makes me feel loved and she is the girl I'm willing to go all out because I love her.

1st post of 2008!

2008-01-02T16:02:00.000+08:00

Looking at those students coming back from school for the first time of the year, some of them had already put on the serious look, ready to start studying anytime of the day. However, others went to school with long, coloured hair and are still in the holiday mood. Suddenly, I thought to myself, "Last time when the school starts, I'm also like the latter." Seeing them make me miss my Secondary school life. I still misses the tons of homework my subject teacher used to give me and the 'every two weeks' block test. Although it's tough and stressful, I still enjoy the processes and enjoying every moment.

Right now, I'm waiting for my 'O' level results. I just hope I could pass and get to the course that are suitable for me. Secondary school are all about finding true friendship. I've found some whom I could talk my hearts out to and although we quarreled times and again, our bonded friendship always hold us together as one. We are just like one big family whom always stay together and enjoy the fun and help one another in times of crisis.

Being in a Secondary school makes you become responsible young adults and also value the word, 'friendship'. Being in this competitive world, large social circle is crucial and the way you communicate is important too. Secondary school is just a stepping stone to adult. However, I will always remember the fun I once had, the stress I once endure and the tears I once shed.

Last but not least, may 2008 be much more brighter and colourful year for all of us. Good luck everyone!

Below are some pictures I've taken when I was in Secondary school.

My Siblings.

2007-12-29T06:19:00.000+08:00

It has been a long time since I updated the blog. Let this entry be the last post of this year and await more upcoming and happening stuffs in 2008.

I have 2 sisters and 1 brother. Although they are my siblings, I treat them as my best friends. I told them almost everything and I know that they would always stand by me whenever I needed them. Being the youngest, I got many disadvantages. They joked about me, bullied me and make me do things I dislike. However, when I got bullied by others, they would kick up a big fuss and sometimes, even resort to lawsuit. I love them a lot. They know how to protect me and would tell me what is right and wrong based on their experience. Although there may be times I felt that my parents neglect me because of them, I do not mind. Because afterall, they are my siblings and I know they would always share.

Let me start by telling you more about my eldest sister. She is currently working in Tan Tock Seng Hospital as a nurse. She has all the qualities of what an eldest sister should have. She is independent and puts her family in the top priority. She is very hardworking and this motivated us to learn from her. She do not mind falling out with her friends because of us. She tried all possibilities to get what we always wanted. She even played the role of our parents in providing us with what we needed like refrigerator and washing machine. She may be fierce to us if we are in the wrong, but she never resort to violence and always talk to us and teach us the right thing. She will always be my beloved sister, I love her.

My brother is handsome and attracted many girls. He is very clever and a fast learner. He loves to club a lot. He always teaches me how not to let other girls cheat on me. He also tells me a lot of things that could motivate me and be like him. He has a mindset that many would disagree. However, whatever he said makes sense and really inspire me a lot. He sacrifices a lot so that we could get a better life. He is the apple in my mother's eye and I want to be like him, because he is the best.

Last but not least, my second sister whom always irritate me. She is a girl whom you could not predict because her mood changes faster than the weather. She is always paranoid about her hair and her looks although she is above average looking. She is the smartest in my family and excel in her English Language. She also composes poem, but lesser now. She loves to contradict herself and has many dreams. She loves to tell me about things that she is interested and that I am not interested. Nevertheless, she is the one I would confide to immediately whenever I have problems. I know she is always helping me and I appreciated it a lot. I love you!

That is how my siblings like. They are unique in their own ways and we communicate to each other like friends, unlike others. So if you have siblings that seemed to you like a stranger, start communicating because It's never too late.

Friends Forever.

2007-11-24T07:04:00.000+08:00

We enjoyed each other companionship despite the stress that 'O' level brought to us. We studied together and sometimes even thought of giving up, but encouragement from you guys brought back my fighting spirit and make me work even harder. Our friendship blossom through the birthday celebrations and outings. Although there are times that we quarrelled, but through understanding and forgiveness, we got back together and our friendship grew even stronger.

Despite our short period of time for knowing each other, we were as close as siblings and would confide in one another when we have problems. You guys are the light that guide me through darkness and the pillar of strength to let me lean on when I'm feeling down. Being with you guys make me forget about the problems I'm facing and whenever I'm with you all, I felt a sense of security and belonging.

Our journey started in 3N1'o5(Bartley). Some of you may heard of my name even before we knew each other as I was a notorious guy in school. However, because of you accepting me makes me a better person now. When we just got to know one another, we treated each other as strangers, but after being together for 2years, we knew each other inside out. Maybe it's fate that brought us together. Our journey together as a group ended in Sentosa. It's a good ending as we took care of each other while walking in the jungle. Although its a fake one, we still showed the importance of one another.

Fire would dies off and ice would melts off. However, our friendship would last forever despite any obstacles. Thanks for being my friends and I hope we would all succeed in life.

Tribute to : Meilinda, Hoiyan, Juni, Milan, Jianyu, Rabindra, Ericsson, Jamlin, Weihao, ChorHeng and Darwin.....

Thoughts after 'O' level...

2007-11-24T06:43:00.000+08:00

I would always dragged myself to school, because I simply hated it. I was one of the frequent late comers and would got myself in the regular 20rounds around parade square and detention till late in the evening. I would curse and swear at the authorities for making me stay back for extra lessons due to my poor results. However, after the 'O' level examinations, my thoughts differ.

The feelings I am going through now is a mixed of happiness and sadness. I am happy because I would not need to study and also, not gonna wake up early for school. I am sad because I'm going to leave a place where I called my second home for 5years. Teachers punished us because we were mischievous. We got intensive programs and got called to school during holidays because our results were poor.

Going to school is an enjoyment because you got to see your friends and play with them. I had a group of friends whom is very special to me. We had fun and also, studied together. They are my soul mates and one of the most important people in my life. School brought us together as a family. Now that school is over, our friendship will still last. However, we would be meeting up less frequently and also, going on our own way. I would miss the fun that we had enjoy, the tears we had shed and also, the friendship that we bonded.

I would definitely not forget Bartley Secondary School and also, the moment I spend there. Treasure your school, your teachers and your friends because you will never get a chance to do so after you leave.

Reflection - Changing myself.

2007-09-28T17:48:00.000+08:00

After reading Kennysia archive on 'Adventures In Sapa, North Vietnam', lots of thoughts flowing through my mind. I wondered if I took what I have in life for granted, the people around me for granted and also, studies for granted. I looked at all those beautiful sceneries that were captured by Kenny, those streets that were filled with litters from the irresponsible tourists and also, the bad living condition. I was inspired and immediately, I woke up from thoughts of not having a better life.

Perhaps, we should slow down a little. Use our hearts to feel the things that Singapore's government had built for us and also, feel the hearts of families and friends around us, how they always am there when we need them and how we always take them from granted. I felt a sense of guilt in me too, because I always neglect the people that care for me. I always treat their nagging as nonsense. Not only that, I always make empty promises to the teachers that care for me in school. I let my parents, teachers and friends down.

Being guilty for all those I've done, I want to amend it. I want to change to be a better boy. I reckon that it's not too late to change. Because when you change, people will accept you. But when you don't, you are condemn forever. Therefore, I'm slowing down to admire my beautiful 'Garden City'. Studying hard for my future and also, to the teachers I've disappoint times and again. Much more filial to my parents and take those nagging as one of the important source of having a good life. Last but not least, to be loyal to my friends and stop making fun of them.

I reckon that my above amendments will help me to a brighter future and therefore wanted to encourage you to amend your mistakes as it's not too late to change.

Fish bone stuck in my Throat!

2007-09-16T02:03:00.000+08:00

It has been 5days since the fish bone stuck in my throat. I thought that it is normal for a fish bone to stuck in my throat, because of the carelessness while eating fishes. However, when I tried to get rid of it by swallowing rice, it did not go down like what it usually did. I knew something is wrong.

The second day I went to school to consult my friend. He told me that vinegar could help dissolve the bone to make it softer so that it would slide down my throat. But I told him that vinegar is disgusting and I refused to drink it. I continued my normal routine and tried various ways to get rid of that fish bone. I swallow saliver in a very frequent basis, drank lots of water and hit my throat. Nothing seems to work. I panicked and do not know what to do.

The third day came and the fish bone just refuses to make its way down to my stomach, I asked around if anyone could help but everyone told me the same method that I've tried. I was depressed and desperate at the same time. When I got home from school, I pluck up my courage to drink the vinegar. First, I pour about 1/4 of the vinegar solution in the glass, then I filled half of the glass with water. I stopped breathing for a moment to force myself to drink the atrocious solution. Immediately after I drank it, I vomited out some forms of liquid. However, the bone just did not come out. I let out a heavy sigh and pat myself on the shoulder. At night, my sister checked the Internet and found out that I could actually drink lemon juice too. Therefore, I tried drinking that. It did not taste as bad, but the fish bone is still there. I reckon there's nothing I could do besides waiting and feeling if the fish bone dissolve after I woke up.

During the forth day, the fish bone did not dissolve like how my dream like. My sister told me that swallowing banana is useful. Therefore, I told my dad to buy a bunch of bananas. I reckon this day was the day I swallow the most bananas in an hour. Nothing seems to work. My hopes were perished and I'm very depressed.

It's the fifth day now and the fish bone is still there, poking me much more frequently and causing me to feel irritated and in pain. I drunk myself with water and nothing seems to go the one I want it to. Out of desperation, I went to Internet Relay Chat[IRC] to search for solution. Some told me to consult a doctor and many advised me to stop swallowing food. I tried to deep throat myself like a bulimic to force the fish bone to out of my throat but to no avail. My sister is willing to spent her money to let me see a doctor as I lied to my parents that the fish bone is cleared so as to not let them worry.

However, I'm very afraid of consulting a doctor because I don't know what will he do. Wild thoughts came running through my mind and gore images formed too. Lots of 'What if' came to my mind and accompanied with chills running down my spines. I hope that the doctor will not have me operated. I promise myself not to eat fishes anymore. I don't want to suffer anymore. I can only pray to the god and hopefully by the next day, the fish bone will mysteriously disappear from my throat!

God bless me.

Durian...

2007-08-26T13:32:00.000+08:00

My name is durian. I have spiky feature that could hurt anyone if they do not handle me with care. I taste heavenly and are known to everyone as the King of fruits. However, many westerners still do not want me in their life as they said I am ugly and smelly. When I am in a good mood, I will just jump down from my tree to let people eat me. If there are worms inside me, it means that I am very tasty, but many people just feel disgusted to it. I come with 2 flavours. Bitter or sweet. However, many people just love the bitter side of me because they told me they love the extraordinary taste in me. I am the special fruit that got banned in SBS buses and MRT trains. Last but not least, I am the fruit that makes your breath and hand filled with the fragrance I give out. Please try me people, and not use it to hurt others. Thank You.

Many people go by looks and if looks appeal to them, they will be friendly. But not every good looking person out there have the character that many of us search for. Many articles have had shown that good looking boys are most likely to be a playboy or Casanova. People who does not look good are often being isolated and many just cannot accept them. Judging from the looks they have isn't fair enough. One may be ugly but good in the heart. Its not their fault to stay this way and therefore should not be isolate by majority. Don't you agree?

My name is Dickson. I have thick eyebrow, single eye lid, small eyes, big nose and big mouth.I am sensitive towards people who wants to hurt me but friendly to people who are my friends. Everyone known me as a notorious boy in school. Some despise me for the way I look and some detest me for the way I show my temper. Luckily there are friends who appreciate me and got rewarded with my jokes and laughter. Although I might look alien to you all from the way I describe myself, I appeal to you all that you accept me as your friend and not isolate me. Do not use me as an object to fight with others and treat me well. Thank You.

Don't I sound like Durian ?

Bartley Class of 5N1'07

2007-08-21T23:54:00.000+08:00

This class consists majority non-Singaporeans, ranging from Thailand, China, Nepal, Indonesia, Vietnam and not forgetting the Singapore. This class is full of laughter when having break and also filled with the sound of the pencils' scribbling when the class are at work.

This class is run by our one and only chairman, Emilia. She has been my class chairman since sec 3 and I know that it must be very difficult and stress for her. She is very fierce and thus I nicknamed her as Commando. She gets very emotional when the class are not paying attention when she is announcing some important things. Also, she has a thunderous laughter.

Not forgetting that this class also consists one nerd, Jonathan. He is a very clever boy who excelled in math. He has a talent for art and when the lesson gets too boring, he would take out any piece of paper to draw. He is tall and skinny and has a bowl cut hair. Not forgetting that he loves to gossip a lot too.

There are also a slacker in this class by the name Weihao. He tops the sec5 cohort even though he is often seen by us that he is not paying attention. His work are often copied from the hardworking girls in my class and he do not hand in homework on time. His work is untidy but still, we respect him. Many of us wondered if he ever studied.

Sanjit is our another top student. He excelled in almost all his subject. He always score the highest mark for his POA, Chemistry and Physics. He is a tall and well-built boy with lots of hairs covering his hands, legs and face. He always put on a smile and are not afraid to ask questions when he need help. He is the tallest in this class who towers at 1.85m.

Sherling is a hardworking girl in my class who never lacks of creativity in teaching her peers. She can simply use a wallet to explain a system or a process. She has a loud voice but has tone down a lot. She is a hot tempered girl but often controls her temper well. You will see her laughing her heads off with her partner, Fazilah. She is a very sociable person too.

Hoiyan is another very hardworking girl who look very much like Sherling. She is crazy with people she are close to, but can be very quiet if you do not know her well. She often console other people when they have troubles. But do remember not to provoke her in the early morning and when she is serious, because she will bite.

Last but not least, our China boy, Jian Yu. He is often called by us as 'Wang Wang' because his surname is 'Wang'. He have the longest hair in this class and when he is in school, he will look very ugly. He knows limited vocabulary and often got laughed because of his command of English. He is a gentleman who will give you a helping hand when you are in need. He is quite funny at times but when he laugh, he sounds like he have had an astmah attack. He do not get provoked easily by others' hurtful words and will be in the sky when he pass his Physics or POA.

Although some of the students just joined my class this year, I still feel that this is a good class. I wish everyone in this class pass O level with flying colours and soar in the future!

Happy 42nd Birthday Singapore!

2007-08-09T22:58:00.000+08:00

I could not stop myself from singing the national songs over and over again. I'm so happy that Singapore come so far and that we are still growing and become more and more powerful. Although Singapore is a small country, our armies are well trained and well equipped with weapons and knowledge. If Singapore were to have war with other countries, I reckon our armies and people will fight with all our might to save our country. Also, it would take quite a lot of money and effort for the other countries to bring us down. Lets hope that this day would never come and that Singapore would be a city full of possibilities.

However nowadays majority of the teenagers are ignorant about politics. All they know are that Singapore is a small countries with limited attraction thus want to migrate when they are older. Also, some don't even know who is our ministers or who are governing us. These factors would affect our future Singapore on who's going to govern our country and what are the changes in our future. Another problem is our birth rate in Singapore which are deteriorating, if this continues for another 50years, there will be no people living in Singapore or there will not be any Singapore thus I reckon we must work hard on that. Not only the government, but the people too.

Besides the problem mentioned above, Singapore is a great place to call it a home. Less crime rate, good traffic system and high rise buildings everywhere. I often wonder why people must rehearse over and over again just because of this day, but after what I saw today, I finally understand why. Watching the parade, the armies marching in orderly and the performance going smoothly, I reckon that will be the best gift for Singapore. I always look forward to National Day Parade(NDP) even though I'm sitting at home watching. I hope that one day I would march in proudly and be the parade commander of the NDP.

Singapore, I love you.

Reflection - A better OR lousy future.

2007-08-02T21:25:00.000+08:00

I hate to fail, why am I failing most of the tests and exams? Why didn't I put in as much hard work as possible when I always told myself that I need to? Why should I be the lowest and got questioned about what type of results I'm getting? So what I'm in the first class when I couldn't even produce what I am expected to? Am I going to end up like most of my seniors being a drop-out after 5years or go to ITE? Am I going to let what Mr Chin said become a reality?Why am I always disapointing those teachers whom did not give up on me? Why did I always make promises that I failed to show?

Whenever I got these lousy results, I would often take the paper with a guity smile while going back to my seat to bury my head on the table. I hate it when people question me why do I get such ridiculous marks. I hate it when Juni kept on saying if I don't do anything, I would get F9. I hate all those comments but it's true. I tried asking myself why I got this kind of grades and what must I do in order to acheive my target. My dad had always ask me about what do I wanna be when I grow up, I understands that he did not forget about what I wanted to be, but kept asking so that I would be constantly reminded of what I wanted to be thus working hard for my goal. Whenever I failed my tests, I would always console myself by saying that the reason why I got this result is because I'm from EM3. I know that I'm cheating myself, and that I have to face the reality. Will miracle happen again like it happened when I was in Primary Six or will I end up doing odd jobs in the future?

Many people would said that I should use my blogging time to start my revision so as to not waste time. The reason why I'm blogging is because I'm reflecting. Why must the word be reflecting? When you look into the mirror, you see yourself as lights reflected to your eyes. This reflection let me see my inner self, the self that constantly got damaged by those long hours paper while sitting in the exam hall. Like what Mr Chin said, "The more you bleed in peace, the less you bleed in war." I'm going to 'bleed' more by studying and not going to let other external factors affect my preparation for war.

Support me people. God bless you and me.

Defination for Love.

2007-07-25T23:31:00.000+08:00

Love is red like a rose.
Love is green like the grass.
Love is the moment you don't want to pass.

Love is bright like the sun.
Love is wet like the rain.
Love is giving and losing and learning and pain.

Love smells fresh like flowers.
It's blue as the sky.
It's your smile when you laugh and your tears when you cry.

Love is soft like a baby.
It's rough like the sand.
Love is the feeling of holding a hand.

Love can't be brought.
For no price is it sold.
Love is the woman who's wrinkled and old.

It's the chirp of the birds as they sing to the trees.
It's sweet just like honey and sounds like the bees.

Love is a teddy bear missing its eyes.
Love comes in every shape, color and size.

Love is the boy who just lose his front tooth.
Love can grow old but it still keeps its youth.

Love is the friend that you always will miss.
Love's not uptight but a warm gentle kiss.

Love is hot chocolate on a cold winter day.
Love is the child that asked you to play.

Love sings not solo but sings in a pair.
Love is not selfish, it's something you share.

Love is the sickness we all want to feel.
Love is the Band-Aid that helps you to heal.

Love is accepting and caring and kind.
When you're not looking it's something you'll find.

When your beauty is gone, you are wrinkled and old.
You will always have love it can never be sold.

When you grow old, and after you're gone.
Your spirit will live through the love you've passed on.

Danielle Rosenllatt

I find this poem is especially meaningful because love really brings you good time, although it does brings you back bad memories, but always remember that bad experience will let you grow even more mature and be better for the next relationship.

Lessons In Life.

2007-07-18T00:36:00.000+08:00

A chef is always seen as a perfectionist because they put their heart and soul not only into cooking the delicious dishes but also decorate it so as to let it look the best in front of the consumers. I just finished watching a variety show, "Ming Chu Shang Cai". This variety show showcases Singapore's famous chef who have been in the industry for more than a decade. Also, the chef not only have to performed their best in front of the camera but also would dedicate the dishes to someone that impact their life.

In this show, a particular chef dedicated the dishes to his mother who is an expert in tasting food. He told the host about how his life journey went before being one of the top chef in the world. He had been commented a lot by his mother. There's one occasion when there were reporters around tasting the food that he had prepared and the reporters were giving good comments on his food, but his mother criticised about it and said that the food is not up to standered in front of the reporters. He was furious by what his mother said as he was a chief chef in the restaurant and thought that his food is delicious. But after thinking for a few days, he accepted his mother's criticism and go on to seek for improvement. His hard work finally paid off and also, he won lots of awards from the food industry around the world. He add on by saying without his mother's criticism, he would not have the fame today.

The mother also told the hosts something which I find it meaningful and that is "People must learn to accept criticism and not think he/she is the best, because if he/she thought so, he/she would never improve." Sometimes, telling a lie is much more better than telling a truth, because the truth is often equipped pricks that would hurt you. However, by telling a lie, that particular person would not improve because he/she would think that he/she is the best.

Lastly, I reckon that telling the truth is good and one must learn to take criticism in order to move on in life. We must not be self-content with what we had today and must often seek for improvement. Although telling the truth may hurt you, but it would benefit you in the future. Do not let the 'short-term' joy cause you a lifetime suffering.

Myself.

2007-07-15T02:29:00.001+08:00

Thoughts ran through my mind some other days. Friends around said that I'm a confident person who always give them advices on solving problems. However, my siblings thought of the vice versa and said that I'm always insecure as they saw me handling my relationship. Am I the confident boy that my friends labelled or am I just an insecure boy whom constantly seek for assurance? To me, I think I'm the latter and only friends who are really close to me will feel that.

Whenever I'm in class, I would crack jokes and do something stupid to humor the class. I would always shout out answers from my seat and participate in lessons enthusiastically sometimes, if the lesson is fun. I would sometimes throw tantrums if I felt unhappy and feel very emotional in class, if the class is noisy, I would shout to keep the classmates silent. All these shows that I'm not afraid to speak up if I'm unhappy or unsure of something. But when I stood in front of the class or just merely answering questions at my seat, I would shiver. I'm not into any kind of serious talks to anyone because I have stage-fright. I love to express myself but when there are many people looking at me, my confidence level would deteriorate. I would often tell others that no matter what happen, confidence is the most important, and as for me, I failed to show the confidence hidden inside me.

When it comes to handling relationship, I would often end being too possessive and as a result, failure for that relationship. Because I do not have the high self esteem in me. I know I'm someone who is below average looking and therefore, I felt insecure when my girlfriend talks to me about the other boy or being with them. I would get jealous easily and thoughts would stream through my mind, telling me that my girlfriend would leave me for a better looking boy. This comes to show that I'm someone who has low self esteem and also someone with little confidence.

Whenever I need to confide my problems, I would always login to IRC, so as to confide to some stranger as I reckon I could be my true self and say it all out. I'm trying my best to be as confident as possible and I reckon I would achieve it someday. I have confidence in myself and I must not let myself down!

"No Sacrifice, No Victory"

2007-07-08T02:19:00.000+08:00

Every movie teaches us a lesson in life, be it a good one or a bad one. The writer of the movie sure have its own way to bring about telling us what he/she learnt in life, and that he/she wanted to share it with us by bringing it in a way that we would laugh, cry or even feel terrified. After watching "Transformer", a movie which showcases the robots in action by transforming from the non-living metals and fought with all might to save the planet called, Earth.

In this movie, a quote which they used and that I find it meaningful in life is "No Sacrifice, No Victory". It's very true as what the quote has stated. You can't gain anything when you don't feel the pain. For example, every children 1st step started off with falling down, every hardwork you put in resulted in the achievement you had now and every fall in a relationship keeps you stronger and better prepared for the next one. Therefore, when you are not prepared to sacrifice for what you want the latter results to be, you will not get it, thus I think its important to sacrifice.

Everyone view victory differently. Some people may think that earning twice as much today will make them 'fly up the sky' while the others might think that if they want to taste victory, they would need to earn more than twice as much today. Victory can make people happy, and no one loves to be defeated, being a victor doesn't mean that you will be victorious ever and this goes to the people who are defeated too.

Some people sacrifice life just because of that victory. Victory is dangerous as it would take the life of others, but victory can also be nice when you work hard to get it. Victory only comes when someone worked hard and does not hurt anyone in expense of that. Those who consider themself as a victor is someone who keeps their conscience clear. Therefore, when you want to be a victor, please sacrifice the right thing at the right time.

"No Sacrifice, No Victory" can be applied to all age range. A student needs to sacrifice his/her social life in order to score well in exams, a labour needs to sacrifice his/her time and effort in order to climb up the corporate ladder, and an old man/women needs to sacrifice eating their favourite food which is usually unhealthy in order to be a strong and healthy old man/women.

Hence make this quote a way of life and be successful in the near future.

What I would Remember most after leaving Secondary School.

2007-07-04T01:56:00.000+08:00

When others told me that I would experience something that would affect my life drastically when I go to Secondary school, I refused to accept it. They told me that friends in Secondary school would be forever as they would go through lots of ups and downs with you in your life. After experiencing almost 5years in school, I finally agreed on what others said.

Still remember the day when I first set foot in the school, being one of the bigger size students in my Primary school, I was amazed because everyone was like a moving tower to me. I told myself that I'm no longer the student who goes around bullying others because the brothers here look strong and fierce. I remembered being bullied by those seniors and that was when I told myself that what others said was just bullshitting. I do not have any friends, nor do I have anyone who studied the same Primary school as me. I was depressed and down, but told myself I can make it through till the end of this education.

Secondary 3 was all about fun, by now, I got to know more friends and they became a pillar of strength and confidence to me. They are competitive but generous. They shared their notes so as to get good result as a whole and not just individually. They would help you if your results are bad and they would even go to the extent of forcing you to study despite whether you like it or not. When I got into trouble and show my temper, they are the one who are not afraid of you and constantly telling you to cool down. This is what I call true friendship, we grew up together in this little environment and walks the journey to be responsible adults. Nevertheless, when they ask me out to enjoy, I would always be a 'spoil-spot' and reject their offer because they are still a stranger to me and I'm always having negative thoughts about them.

Now I'm in the 'last lap' and reaching the 'finishing point' in 3months time, friends to me are very important. They constantly asked me out to study with them and we formed a study group. This study group consists of people who jokes around but serious at times, people who topped the cohort, people whose other subjects are in good grades and most importantly, people who are not selfish and teach you the right thing. These people in my study group are my best friends, we had fun together, cry together and also grow up together.

To me, these friends are very important, I will remember how they used to make fun of me, how we mugged during exam period, breaking down because of the stress level and most importantly, the encouragement that they gave me. Constantly telling me not to give up and always be there for me when I need them. These friends are friends that you would never find after you stepped into your next phase of education, these friends brought great impact in my life and also, because of them, I'm a better person now.

Thanks for being my friends despite throwing tantrums at you all, I enjoyed my Secondary school life, have you?

Relationship - Good or bad?

2007-05-27T00:32:00.000+08:00

I was kind of wondering if going into a relationship is a good thing for a teenager. Lets not talk about those problems like couldn't resists temptation and got into doing things that are stupid or the results for deteriorating.

I have a girl whom I love a lot and we were together for 9months. Her mum had forbid her to be together with me and that she tried to squeeze in her precious time to be with me. But she went on finding a new guy and that was when we broke off. I reckoned this is parts and parcel of life and I've learned to go on with it and had learnt my lesson.

My friend who have a relationship now is troubled because his girlfriend would want him to pay for her needs and wants and when he couldn't afford, she will be angry.

So is having a relationship a good thing or a bad thing since there's more corns than pros? I reckoned it's up to the individual on how you would want the relationship to be viewed. As for me, it's a good thing as I grew from it and mature.

Age

2007-05-26T03:22:00.000+08:00

I'm in an age of rebellious-ness. Rebellious against my family for the freedom to go out till late into wee hours. Freedom to have the rights to speak in the family. Freedom to have my 'human' rights against those who scolds me. Freedom to have the 'passport' towards the age of adulthood. Freedom to have a girlfriend and bringing her home.

I'm in an age of having friends as the top priority. Whenever I need help, friends would be the first to come to my mind. Whenever I have trouble, friends would be the first I confided to. Whenever I'm 'lost', friends would be the first I thought of as the 'light' towards 'darkness'. Whenever I succeed in anything, friends would be the one celebrating my success and happiness.

I'm in an age of choices that would affect my future. Any childish-ness would not be tolerated. Decision I've made today, would affect the results tomorrow. Such as not studying hard enough, being with bad companions and get into deep trouble.

I'm in an age of rising temptation such as underage sex, pickpocketing, hurling vulgarities, fighting and challenging authorities.

This all results as I'm in an age of a teenager.

Heads of my house.

2007-02-11T05:09:00.000+08:00

Have you always thoght that why are you so unlucky to have this type of parents? Because I do, and from very young, I started developing this negative thinking.

Lets talk about my dad, he's a man who instill discipline in my family. A man whom I look up to till now, but he's also a violent man. Wonder why I look up to him even though he's a violent? He's someone very fast and witty, someone who won't fall for your trap easily. But on top of that, he's someone who is fierce and loud. When I was young, I often got beaten up by him as I got into trouble with the school's authority, and also because of my poor results. He's not like other fathesr who use cane to cane their children, he used bamboo sticks and leather belt to make you feel pain physically and also emotionally. After the beating session, I always ordered to jump 1000 times as my punishment. Now he's better, he changed a lot. He no longer uses fist to solve problems, he advised me on the method of studying and how to solve problems if I encounter any. He's a man with wisdom and that's why I forgave him and look up to him.

My mother, classy lady like what my friends said. A lady who would took you awhile in guessing her actual age. A lady who raised 4children with both hands. A lady whom I respect a lot when I was young. She will always be there for me when my dad beats me up, to protect me from the torturing and also, to give me a sense of security and motherly love. But things changed. I don't feel the sense of security and motherly love now. When she came home, my sister and I will just stopped chatting and kept quiet. Not because she was fierce, but because she's unreasonable. She rented a 4rooms-flat and bought a car for my brother despite him making her mad frequently. When we asked if she could give us some money, she would reply saying we kept on asking her for money and that we are killing here. She gave her love to her precious son and forgotten about us. Now, I've no respect for her and I look down on her.

Life is never fair. I conclude by saying "if you can't get what you wanted, don't yearn for it but go for it." No matter how badly my dad or mum treat me, they are still my parents. I don't hate them for what they had done, I am just disappointed because none of them really shower me with love, care and concern.

BFF [Best Friend Forever]

2006-12-30T10:57:00.000+08:00

hmm, many of us here have 'many' friends in our life, no matter where we go, what we do. it's always about friends. today I wanna share with you all my friend, his name is Xin Sheng.

I was in primary 4 when I knew him, it was through fighting tt I knew he existed though he's not a naughty kid. He was told by my 'friend' to teach me a lesson and when i fought with him, i lost. He was the 1st guy whom can win me in fighting. Nevertheless, we became friends as i don't want ppl to know tt I lost to him in fighting. We were not close until primary 5, were in the same class with him at tt time. He's always there when i need him, from school work to girls. I had always admired this pretty girl in primary school, he was the one who help me get her attention to me and also help me with buying gifts and all. From then on, I regard him as my best friend.

After we left primary school, he was the only primary school friend whom I stay contact. He would always ask me to go back to primary school on occasions. We also went out together and some ppl thought tt we were gay as we were very close to each other just like brothers. When he had money which he saved for a long time, he would call me out and spend on movies and eatings. He's a gentleman and it was through him tt i learnt not to be stingy. He would always wanted to pay money for everything when we go out. And so, when I have the money, I will call him out and spent together as well. He's the only guy whom I really felt comfortable to chat with and talk my hearts out. When he had problem, he would tell me so I can lend a listening ear too. When he can't solve my problems, he would ask his parents and sister for advice on solving it and bring me to his mother's western stall, so his mother will have me brain-washed.

When I had no money, he would put money in my wallet and tell me it's for my rainy day. I'm very fortunate to have a friend like him and I will treasure him no matter what.

In life, best friends are hard to find, and if you found one, dun let it slipped away and treasure him/her. best friends are those who lend u a listening ear when u have worries or when u are troubled, be there for u when u need someone, someone whom you can talk ur hearts our and felt comfortable, also someone who will guide u through the right way.

presenting my BFF -> Xin Sheng.

rich or poor - which do you prefer?

2006-12-23T23:55:00.000+08:00

this morning, when i was going home with my mum after her dentle appointment, we hire a cab and off we went home.

mum was chatting with the taxi driver all the way about money.. my mum n the driver have a common thing in mind, tt is hw much u earn, be it rich or poor is destined by the heaven. some ppl r rich, but they died young, some are poor, but they r happy. what for aim for this status called 'rich'? when ur wealthy, there will be more problems..

somehow rather, i felt disturbed by their point of views. y cant ppl juz fight for their life, y do ppl said tt life is destined, the amount u earned, u spent and u eat is destined.if tt is the case, y do ppl still work for food? my mum said the richer we r, the more problems we get, tts true cuz my mum had been rich before.. but hw many ppl can have this type of life? hw many ppl can spend part of their life being wealthy, take branded and really shop till u drop? many ppl r aiming to be rich and there's some ppl saying rich is a bad thing. if tts the case, does our government consider rich? yes, they have problems, cuz they r our government and their job is to hlp us solve our problems.

in my point of view, i wun believe tt life is destined, i will fight for my own and i will earn big bucks in future. i dunwan to admire and envy those with big cash in their wallet, i wan ppl to envy me, to admire me. i wan to bring branded, and shop till i drop.

so which do u all prefer? rich or poor? i prefer to be rich cuz i wan everyone who look dwn at me in the past, look up to me in the future. i wan dem to lick my boots clean n shiny.

Time - A good or bad thing?

2006-12-22T19:39:00.000+08:00

hmm, my first attempt to this whole new thing called BLOG. let this be the place where i pour my emotions and my feelings..

time, is it a good or bad thing? 2007 round the corner. Recall when i first stepped into my secondary sch, i promised myself not to be influenced by others and also, not to let the cane in this sch touch my butt. after all those tolerance of these mischievous 'kid', i let my temper controls me. fought with them and nearly got expelled by sch.. tts me, a stubborn boy became notorious again.

think bout the past, am i childish? yes. does it do good to me? no. do i make my parents proud when i fight? no. nevertheless, i still feel proud. proud to be the icon in the sch. ppl all talking bout me fighting with teachers and students. but of course its a shame thing. ppl will not be close to me like last time, ppl drifted apart frm me.

friends r like gem at this point of time. teenagers age, friends r everything. BUT many of those gangsters we saw on streets. they r one big group, yes. inside tt group, there is the head. my dad always tell me not to mix around too much with gangsters, not to smoke nor drink. i always think its bullshit. but he told me one thing tt i thing it makes sense, tt is nv be a FOLLOWER, be a LEADER. how can u and i be a leader? very simple, when ur a follower, ppl tell u to do things, u do it blindly. when ur a leader, ppl tell u to do things, u find out what's the problem 1st before doing it. not to let ppl pull ur nose and go, YOU pull ppl noses go. not to let ppl influence u, u influenced THEM.

time, is it good or is it bad? up to u to decide. to me, its good, its our history, learn frm the past, nv to make the same mistake again. As the saying goes.. Once bitten, Twice shy.