I hate to fail, why am I failing most of the tests and exams? Why didn't I put in as much hard work as possible when I always told myself that I need to? Why should I be the lowest and got questioned about what type of results I'm getting? So what I'm in the first class when I couldn't even produce what I am expected to? Am I going to end up like most of my seniors being a drop-out after 5years or go to ITE? Am I going to let what Mr Chin said become a reality?Why am I always disapointing those teachers whom did not give up on me? Why did I always make promises that I failed to show?
Whenever I got these lousy results, I would often take the paper with a guity smile while going back to my seat to bury my head on the table. I hate it when people question me why do I get such ridiculous marks. I hate it when Juni kept on saying if I don't do anything, I would get F9. I hate all those comments but it's true. I tried asking myself why I got this kind of grades and what must I do in order to acheive my target. My dad had always ask me about what do I wanna be when I grow up, I understands that he did not forget about what I wanted to be, but kept asking so that I would be constantly reminded of what I wanted to be thus working hard for my goal. Whenever I failed my tests, I would always console myself by saying that the reason why I got this result is because I'm from EM3. I know that I'm cheating myself, and that I have to face the reality. Will miracle happen again like it happened when I was in Primary Six or will I end up doing odd jobs in the future?
Many people would said that I should use my blogging time to start my revision so as to not waste time. The reason why I'm blogging is because I'm reflecting. Why must the word be reflecting? When you look into the mirror, you see yourself as lights reflected to your eyes. This reflection let me see my inner self, the self that constantly got damaged by those long hours paper while sitting in the exam hall. Like what Mr Chin said, "The more you bleed in peace, the less you bleed in war." I'm going to 'bleed' more by studying and not going to let other external factors affect my preparation for war.
Support me people. God bless you and me.
2 comments:
aiyo.. dun depress le la.. take it as a stepping tone to the future.. there's not lousy future de. it will be better as each day passes. cause life is nt abt getting good grades or what.. it's the proccess.. ya must be saying that grades also important but yea.. it is in this society. but what you are today is not what you are tomorrow. jiayou! got hope = got future.
hello.. hehe.
hmm ill pray for yor exams lo. hehe hope u do well !! xD gl
-michelle-
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