.Wednesday, September 30, 2009@2:57 PM.
A blink of an eye, my first semester in Republic Polytechnic has passed. This school definitely let me see myself alot more clearly. During this first semester, lots of things happened. From me having lots of friends surrounding me to being an outcast. Joined Dragon boat as my Interest Group and being an outcast too, I guess. Am really sad for being an outcast because all the while in my years of education, I was always the centre of attention. Everyone will notice me, although in a bad way, I still have a bunch of good friends surrounding me and going out with me. However, in this Polytechnic, everything went vice versa.
In this tiny classroom of not more than 30 students, we are expected to work in groups of 4-5 in order to produce a quality powerpoint presentation to the problem given during the first meeting. I always act as a leader during group work in the past, hence when someone were to take this leadership role during this group discussion in Republic Polytechnic, I feel unease. I did not know how to follow people's instruction. I love doing it my own way. But in this school, I have to comprimise and everyone has a chance, hence I learn to work as a group, being a follower. I remembered going out of control and becoming back to my usual self after one week of school, I bash up a kid 2 years my junior. He was my classmate. My temper got arouse after he made negative multiple comments about my presentation and the overall presentation. This was when everything starts to change. From the usual group eating together at the food court, I was caught packeting my lunch and going back to the errie classroom eating alone. From the usual fun I had with the classmates, I was caught playing games in the internet. However, I still stay competitive by giving my best during class and group discussion because I was hungry for a daily grade of at least a 'B'. It was only during the final days - close to end of first semester that I apologize to those I had hurt, mentally. I got to realise that I always speak bluntly, without thinking. When the things I said was meant for a joke, others may think otherwise. It was also then I realise that I am not a good leader for the groups I lead, because I am more autocractic than democratic. I need people to listen to me, I need people to follow what I do so that I could secure a good grade, and neglected the whole team performances. I regretted acting in such childish-ly manner when most of my classmates could act maturely even though they are younger than me. I regretted. Just a few days ago, I got back a very disappointing result of GPA 3.2 that I finally woke up from all these nonsense and hope to start anew in my second and subsequent semester in Republic Polytechnic. I hope for the best, not just to me but everyone else.
W45F'09
I never consider myself as a sporty person, but I joined Dragon Boat. This thought of joining never cross my mind but I joined nevertheless because my secondary school friend encourage. I am still in the team, but likewise in the classroom, I am not happy. Perhaps is the way I act that makes people not wanting to come near or even speak to me. Being in this team actually makes me feel really inferior. Everyone is so physically fit. Those who are not had gave up and leave the team, and I am still the only one left in this team who are the odd one out. I do not have great paddling skills nor do I have toned muscles. When they are loud, I became soft, when they are louder and even more confident, I became softer and felt more inferior. Because of this infeiority that I started using what I do most, talk, to hurt their feelings. Actually the more I hurt them with my words, the more my weaknesses are potrayed out. I never felt that I am needed in the team. Perhaps because of the consistency of my attendence is not there. When there are choices to be made prior to Dragon Boat, I neglect Dragon Boat. I never prioritise it and this makes me think if I have make the wrong decision. I have a burning passion for this sports and I hope that I could excel in it. But there are no team bonding between myself and the team. There are only a few friends that are constantly talking to me and the secondary school friend of mine is excluded. I thought I might have a chance to blend in together with them since I have a friend inside, but I was wrong. I never felt so inferior, I never felt so left out and I never felt so lousy before. However, I will not give up and will continue to stay and fight on, hopefully one day I could blend in well with them and actually call them 'us'.
During this semester holiday, the above problems actually became clearer, to the point that I would question myself if I have any friends. I have no one calling me out, I have no one helping me to celebrate my birthday like before and I have no one being there for me when I need them most. At this point of time, I have no friends at all. However, just when I was about to break down feeling even more inferior and outcasted, my ITE friends called for me to join them for a gathering at Sentosa. Frankly speaking, I thought I was dreaming because I never expected them to remember me. I was elated. When I meet up with them to go Sentosa together, I felt like I am one of them. They did not give me the feeling of being outcasted neither do they give me the feeling of being unloved. They chatted with me asking me about my life in Republic Polytechnic, they make fun of me like they use to when we are in ITE, they are the bunch whom I could consider friends. They still call me 'Ah Dick', nothing changes. Their gesture and the fun we had together really makes me want to forget everything and spend quality time with them. Actually, it really gives me this feeling of regret, regret for coming to Polytechnic and not stay there and study with them. They are indeed my friends, I love them.
Friends Forever .Sunday, July 12, 2009@12:45 AM.
As I was reminiscing about the past, primary school days especially. I felt that I have had transform a lot in a person. The characteristics of me changed to a better one. Drastically is the word use to describe the change in me. Out of the blue, I thought of the upcoming National Day.
Singapore is going to be 44 years of age. The always changing nation I would describe it as. From a fishing village, to a successful trading port back in the olden days. Gone through Japanese Occupation and racial riots. Been through merging and separation. Changes the name twice(Temasek and Syonan-to) I supposed before naming it 'Singapura'. Creation of the High Rise Buildings for citizens to stay while clearing all the slums. Been attracting Multi-National Companies (MNCs) to invest in Singapore and rebate their taxes. Organising campaigns to shape Singaporeans into responsible citizens. Until now, attracting foreign talents to settle down in Singapore and start a family to contribute to Singapore's population as it is dropping.
Singapore is going to be 44 years of age. The always changing nation I would describe it as. From a fishing village, to a successful trading port back in the olden days. Gone through Japanese Occupation and racial riots. Been through merging and separation. Changes the name twice(Temasek and Syonan-to) I supposed before naming it 'Singapura'. Creation of the High Rise Buildings for citizens to stay while clearing all the slums. Been attracting Multi-National Companies (MNCs) to invest in Singapore and rebate their taxes. Organising campaigns to shape Singaporeans into responsible citizens. Until now, attracting foreign talents to settle down in Singapore and start a family to contribute to Singapore's population as it is dropping.
In my opinion, I really felt that given just 44 years(even younger than my parents), Singapore had transform into a country which is recognised worldwide. Talk about 'clean and green' and a Brazilian babe will spout out 'SINGAPORE' naturally. Talk about world class airport and any Tom, Dick and Harry would agree Singapore owns it. Singapore is not a country anymore, its more than that, its a brand. It is a world class branded which could win any branded (LV, Gucci, Hermes and etc) single handedly. Another example on why Singapore is more than a country. Take Michael P. Fay for example. He was an American fellow who came to Singapore and steals and even scratches any car he sighted on the street or in the car park got caned four strokes even after the appeal of a powerful country, USA. Singapore is also a country without the fear of seeing riots or protests on the streets. Anyone who wants to protest should send in their application and go indoor. International Monetary Fund (IMF) held in Singapore laugh at us but we are firm with our rules and regulations. It is because of all these that Singapore is ranked the top 10 worldwide for its security. I am truly amazed how such small island could make such huge impact to the world.
Back to the subject, I reminisced about the past. I remembered very clearly that when I was in Primary 5, I was taken to the National Day Parade(NDP), it was 2001 then. I still remember how awesome the feeling was holding my Primary School flag and leading other school mates into the stadium to watch the NDP. When the ceremony starts, it was and always is the uniform group marching in the stadium. Although many may think that the marching and all was boring, I am truly drawn to what is sighted before me then. The different platoons marching to the command given in Malay. They were all so organised together. Their faces were all the same, seriousness is the word. The parade commander was so impressive that I instantly felt in love with him even though he is a guy. The command he gave to the different platoons gave me a trigger down my spine. Everyone who was wearing the uniform followed his command without any error. He is the leader, he is the man. Because of that, I aspire to be like him. I hope that one day, I could stand in the National stadium and command the different platoons. Because of this dream, I went to join NPCC in Secondary school. The NDP'01 is the only parade I watch it live, but I was hooked ever since. Every year, August 9, I would not go anywhere but to watch the NDP live on television. Not only that, I would be at home marching to the command given by the parade commander. Some of you may think that I am mad, but this is how I show my love to Singapore during this day. By marching and saluting. Even go to the extent to singing 'Majulah Singapura' together with the live audiences and president. I always felt the atmosphere when I am doing this, I could feel that I am watching the parade live at the stadium. Because of that, every August 9 is the day of joy. Although there are performances and songs sung by the choir of various school, I would still not get sick of the formal parade. Because this is the part where Singapore could show the world how disciplined our people are, how united and ready to fight for Singapore we can be and how multi-racialism is possible within the uniform groups and citizens. We are the pride of Singapore and because of all these factors, I never miss any National Day Parade live on television after NDP'01.
As Singapore is embarking towards being a 44 years young nation, I would like to see that Singapore is still a strictest and fine-ner yet at the same time; racial harmonious, safe environment and definitely a place with lots of fun and excitement country.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY in ADVANCE SINGAPORE !
Below are a video summarising Singapore's past and present into a song.
ENJOY!!!
.Thursday, March 12, 2009@7:21 PM.
Let my wonderful voice accompany you through lonely days. HAHA!
CAUTION: Background conversation are said to be a curse, if you listen to it, you will be curse to have a very bad sore throat hence make you sing awfully.
